Perfection

Throughout the years, I've always searched for perfection. In everything.

The perfect grades. The perfect job. The perfect husband. The perfect shoes. The perfect house. The perfect hair. The perfect meal. The perfect kids. Being the perfect wife, mother, friend. You get it...

Let me tell you something. Perfection is tiring.... And unattainable.

I burn dinner. I yell at my kids. I don't give my husband the respect he deserves. I forget to return calls (sorry, AJ- I love you, girl!) The perfect house gets messy. The perfect shoes pinch my toes. And I live in Oklahoma (Tornado Alley) so perfect hair is a pipe dream!

The thing is, I have beaten myself up too many times for not attaining perfection. Guilt is a horrible thing - especially unwarranted, self-inflicted guilt. Why do I do it? My amazing hubby thinks I'm perfect in every way ( have I mentioned he's a keeper?). My kids think I'm perfect, even when I yell. (In fact, Princess even told me "You're the bestest Mom even though you're mean to me.)

I have learned am learning to let go of my expectations for myself and focus on God's expectations for me. When I fail (as I do often), the devil comes in and tells me I'll never be good enough. But, God thinks I'm good enough. He promises He will be with me wherever He sends me- whether that's the kitchen or the Congo. I need to TRUST that promise! Rely on His strength.

I guess what I'm saying is that I should stop looking for perfection- I've already found it... I am made perfect in Him. Because Jesus died for me, I am covered with HIS perfection.

When my hair doesn't live up to my expectations, I tell myself...
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." Psalm 139:14.

When my house isn't the biggest or newest, I tell myself... "...for I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Philippians 4:11.

When I find myself yelling at my kids AGAIN and thinking I will never change, I remind myself... His mercies "...are new every morning:great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:23.

I know I'm not perfect, but I do the best I can. And I know that God's not finished with me yet... "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:" Philippians 1:6.

So if you're like me, and beat yourself up when things aren't perfect, just remember that you aren't alone. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again- and it's OK to ask for help... "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally..." James 1:5.

Let me know if you are struggling, too. I would be happy to share your burdens and pray for you.

Love you all,

Rulissa